Six strategies to help children navigate their emotions

This week, thousands of young children across the UK are gearing up to start or return to school, and as with any change or new phase in life, there’s a degree of uncertainty and apprehensiveness to navigate.

Parents and caregivers will be looking to support and empower their young people with coping mechanisms, and open up conversations around how to handle their more uncomfortable emotions. But this process can begin far in advance of school; experts agree the earlier we start doing this, the better, for our children’s long-term emotional wellbeing.

Research shows that half of all mental health conditions begin before the age of 14, with many of these conditions developing during the early years of a child’s life. According to Dr. Abi Miranda, Head of Early Years and Prevention (EYP) at Anna Freud – a mental health charity for children and young people — adopting strategies early on to build strong emotional foundations in our children is crucial.

“Intervening as quickly as possible is vital, if signs of mental ill health develop in young children,” Dr. Miranda says, but importantly, “we shouldn’t wait for problems to emerge.”

“When we talk about mental health, there’s a perception that we’re only talking about problems and mental ill health, but there’s more to it. Mental health is also about resilience – which helps us cope with challenges – and developing positive relationships. If parents and caregivers intervene early to promote a positive sense of wellbeing in young children, this helps children to make friends, learn and become valuable members of their communities.”

Here are six expert-backed strategies to help foster emotional wellbeing in children.

1. Encourage emotional awareness and expression

Helping children recognise and articulate their emotions is foundational to their emotional development, says Dr. Miranda, an educational and child psychologist. And parents and caregivers have a key role to play in modelling how they handle a full range of emotions, from joy to frustration.

“Throughout their early years, children learn everything from their parents and caregivers — wellbeing is no exception. There is a tendency for adults to only show positive emotions to children and hide their negative ones, but this doesn’t help. Children need to see a range of emotions expressed in healthy ways, which includes how to cope with frustration, sadness, or anger. Explaining this process out loud will help children understand and replicate this behaviour.”

She adds that parents should avoid trying to prevent young children from experiencing sadness. “Well-meaning adults often respond to a child’s distress by trying to cheer them up or downplaying their emotions, but allowing children to feel and express their sadness can help them develop problem-solving skills.”

“It’s also important to use language that children also use, to help them express their feelings. This means drawing on concepts that children are familiar with and that aren’t too abstract.

2. Using books and storytelling as learning tools

Using language that is relatable to children helps them better understand and communicate their feelings, and this is where books and storytelling can serve as a powerful tool. By seeing characters navigate different feelings and situations, children can relate these experiences to their own lives.

Reading together can help open up conversations about emotions and provide a safe space for children to express themselves.

WHAT TO READ

The free, downloadable e-book Sometimes Happy, Sometimes Sad from Anna Freud and Laura Henry-Allain MBE features Jackson, a ‘fizzy, whizzy’ three-year old, who doesn’t feel himself one day.

The story uses metaphors like comparing sadness to a cloud or marshmallow — concepts that are familiar and tangible to young children.

Dr Miranda has written an adult’s guide to accompany the e-book, alongside psychotherapist Claudia Coussins, offering advice around supporting early years mental health.

Download the e-book here.

The Growing Hearts series by Jo Witek and illustrator Christine Roussey celebrates the milestones of a toddler’s emotional development, with books including ‘In My Heart: A Book of Feelings’ and ‘Brave As Can Be: A Book of Courage’. These are fun, beautifully illustrated, powerful reads for young children navigating their early years and a new nursery or school.

Allowing children to see how different characters manage their emotions and arrive at solutions to challenges provides a model for them to emulate. This can be more impactful than immediately trying to “fix” a child’s feelings, which adults often feel compelled to do.

Four popular books that parents can read to young children to help them navigate their emotions:

1. The Colour Monster by Anna Llenas – A visually engaging book that uses colours to represent different emotions, helping young children identify and talk about their feelings in a simple, relatable way.

2. Ruby’s Worry by Tom Percival – This book is perfect for addressing anxiety in children. It tells the story of Ruby, who learns that sharing her worries can make them shrink, encouraging open communication about fears and anxieties.

3. The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside – This well-loved book addresses the burden of unspoken worries. It teaches children that talking about their concerns can help to alleviate them, making it an excellent tool for managing anxiety.

4. When Sadness Comes to Call by Eva Eland – A calming and empathetic book that personifies sadness, showing children that it is okay to feel sad and providing gentle strategies for managing this emotion.

3. Create a safe and supportive environment

“Children are more likely to express their emotions when they’re feeling safe and in the company of a trusted adult.” Building a nurturing environment where children feel understood and cared for is essential for emotional expression.

“Early years practitioners often use a key worker model, where a specific adult forms a close bond with the child. This is important as children won’t just talk to anyone, just as most adults wouldn’t share their feelings with someone random,” she says.

At home, parents and caregivers should strive to create similar environments of trust and safety. This is especially important for neuro-divergent children, who might react to stimuli that others overlook.

“Adults need to acknowledge and validate these differences,” says Dr. Miranda. “Children shouldn’t be reprimanded or made to feel less than for responding with distress to something that may seem insignificant to us. When feelings are recognised and validated, it opens up the possibility for children to learn to manage them in their way.”

RELATED: Sophie Morgan in conversation with Laura Henry Allain MBE

4. Build strong social connections

“Good social connections are fundamental to having positive wellbeing, at any stage of our life,” says Dr. Miranda. Encouraging children to make friends, play, and interact with others can help them develop strong social skills and provide emotional support networks. 

“We need other people to feel better and the resources in our social network help us to remain mentally well. Having people who care, understand, listen to and support you is crucial, particularly for children who might struggle to articulate their emotional states.”

By modelling healthy social interactions, parents and caregivers can help children learn how to build and maintain positive relationships.

5. Teach problem-solving and coping mechanisms

Encouraging children to develop problem-solving skills and coping mechanisms is a key part of fostering emotional resilience. Parents can share how they manage their own emotions, whether it’s through mindfulness, listening to music, or taking a walk.

As Dr. Miranda explains, “For some, sitting still helps them feel calm, while for others, moving can create a response in the body that makes them feel better. Adults should share with children what works best for them while giving them different options to try.”

What’s important is that children see there are multiple ways to handle difficult emotions. By exploring different coping strategies, they can discover which ones work best for them, and develop a ‘toolbox’ for emotional wellbeing over time, which they can draw on throughout their childhood and adolescence.

“Validating the feelings of children is also key,” says Dr Miranda. Recognising their emotional experiences, even if they differ from our own, is crucial in helping them feel understood and supported.”

6. Leverage resources and support networks

Parents and caregivers have a wealth of resources available to support children’s emotional development. The Early Years in Mind network by Anna Freud, for example, provides helpful tools and guidance for early years practitioners and caregivers.

Utilising these resources can provide valuable insights and strategies to supporting children’s mental and emotional development.

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‘Prioritising Paediatric Health’ will be hosted by Sangeeta Kandola and will feature organisations who are playing their part in improving the outcomes of children, in this ever-changing world. Launching September 2024, ‘Prioritising Paediatric Health’ will combine expert interviews, news items and reporter-led sponsored editorial profiles. The programme will include content from and be promoted by Evelina London as a thought leader within the industry.